COM Newsletter - May 2021
INSPIRATIONAL THOUGHT
We are praising God for the recent event held at the Village Church and for Pastors Ron Kelly and Bryce Bowman! These courageous pastors joined together with Know His Love Ministry and ‘Coming Out’ Ministries trumpeting a call to obedience to God’s Word and sexual purity amidst a collapsing culture. The eight day event, titled “You Matter, You Belong, You are Loved- Sexual purity in a World of Moral Collapse”, took place in April at the Village SDA Church in Berrien Springs, MI.
In February, Know His Love Ministry was scheduled to embark on an extensive tour in Michigan. Learning of this, Pastor Kelly was inspired to conduct a series with a new approach. Working together, Pastor Kelly and Wayne Blakley blended together numerous pastoral presentations with those by KHL and COM. These included educating from the Word of God on both LGBT and heterosexual issues while extending the message of God’s pure grace to ALL!
Speakers included: Pastors Ron Kelly, Bryce Bowman, Stephen Lewis, Steve Conway, Dr. Conrad Vine, Know His Love Ministry’s Wayne Blakley, ‘Coming Out’ Ministries’ Pastor Ron Woolsey, Michael Carducci, and Kezia Chisholm.
Numerous testimonies were also shared from a variety of backgrounds, including some outside of Adventism who have found freedom in Christ through the Word and the inspiration of the Holy Spirit.
What a powerful and engaging series the Lord provided, certainly the first of it’s kind! Besides those who were physically present, an additional 2000 viewed online and the series continues to be viewed and shared each day. If you missed any of the presentations, you can view them by going to VillageSDA.org. They are also easy to locate by searching “Village SDA Church” on Youtube. The series will be on the COM website soon and will eventually be available on packaged DVD’s.
SPECIAL MESSAGE
Q&A
Question: I am a bisexual Christian. What advice do you have for me?
Reply: First of all, we need to look at the true meaning of the label Christian. Attaching the word carelessly to a behavior quite often results in an oxymoron, a figure of speech that combines contradictory terms. For example, Christian adultery is a contradictory label within itself, as is Christian pornography, Christian pedophilia, Christian alcoholic, Christian druggie, ad infinitum. We might as well just endorse or sanction the term Christian sin. These oxymorons are not in common use, to my knowledge. However, many homosexuals do like to refer to themselves as gay Christians.
Is this not an oxymoron? Is such a label honest and credible, or even plausible? We should take an honest look at the definition and meaning of the word Christian: a person who adheres to the teachings and example of the life of Christ. A Christian is a disciple of Christ. A disciple is one who adheres to the discipline of “the Master.” Therefore, attaching the label Christian to teachings and behavior that Jesus Christ the Master condemns results in a combination of contradictory terms, or an oxymoron.
A genuine Christian cannot be a homosexual, a bisexual, an adulterer, or practice any number of other lifestyles that blatantly contradict the life and teachings of Jesus Christ. Bisexual behavior involves homosexual behavior, which, along with adultery in general, is one of a number of sinful practices that God condemns in the Bible as abominations.
So, what advice do I have for the bisexual who wants to be a Christian? The bisexual actually has a real advantage over the homosexual in this matter, for a person who claims to be bisexual is comfortable being sexually intimate with either gender. In a sense, that is really a positive factor.
We can look at it in this way: a heterosexual Christian has an unlimited number of possibilities in choosing a life partner, as long as the choice involves one of the opposite gender. Nevertheless, he must go through a process of elimination to come up with the “one and only.” Does this person fall into the category in which God can add His blessing? Is this person also a Christian? Do they both share the same rule of faith and practice? Are they mutually attracted to one another? Do they share interests and have significant things in common? Are they socially and culturally compatible? Can they agree upon a locality in which to live? Eventually, the process of elimination results in the “one and only.” And they hope to live happily ever after.
The “bisexual Christian” also has a virtually unlimited number of possibilities for choosing a lifetime companion: Does this person fall into the category in which God can add His blessing? Half of the possibilities can be eliminated based upon gender alone. But that's all right. If truly bisexual, then the opposite gender is still within play, and the process of elimination continues. Is this person also a Christian? Do they both share the same rule of faith and practice? Are they mutually attracted to one another? Do they share interests and have significant things in common? Are they socially and culturally compatible? Can they agree upon a locality in which to live? Eventually, this process of elimination also results in the “one and only.” And they also hope to live happily ever after.
You see? If you are Christian and believe yourself to be bisexual, then God has a great solution for you. His gift to man is one woman, in marriage. Any sexual activity outside of this marriage is displeasing to Him and not in harmony with being a Christian. So if you are bisexual, and if God's plan allows for only one person as a life partner, then why not choose within the opposite gender of which He approves and can add His blessing? Does that not make sense? If you can go either way, or both ways, then why not choose God's way, His only way? The heterosexual Christian must choose and select down to one and only one person. So why should the bisexual person get a special allowance to choose one of each? Would that not be polygamy? But I digress.
In Isaiah 1:18, God Himself says, “Come now, and let us reason together.” He is reasonable. His way makes sense. It is consistent and fair. He designed human sexuality to be a gift to the children He loves. And as the Creator and designer of this gift, it is only logical to acknowledge that His way is best. It is Satan who has perverted this gift in an effort to destroy the home and family and to bring to an end the gift of procreation that perpetuates human life itself. Satan hates humanity, because he hates Jesus the Creator of humanity. Homosexuality results in bringing to an end 6,000 years of procreation, the enlarging of the family of God.
But, one questions, what about the same-sex attractions? As a bisexual, how do I deal with that?
Regarding the same-sex attractions, God again has given the remedy. He says that “whosoever looketh on a woman [or man] to lust after her [him] hath committed adultery with her [him] already in his heart” (Matthew 5:28). In this question, the heterosexual Christian and the “bisexual Christian” have the same challenge: to not lust after anyone other than one's spouse. The straight guy has to take control of lustful thoughts toward women, and the bisexual guy has to take control of lustful thoughts toward men. Both straights and bisexuals have equal struggles in this area. So as Christians we are to put into practice the counsel of 2 Corinthians 10:5, “bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.”
Satan will place tempting thoughts into your mind, but you are to practice rejecting those thoughts and choosing better ones. “Submit [yourself daily] therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you” (James 4:7). Avoid tempting situations such as are found in movies, magazines, online pornography, and the wrong kinds of friends and associations who would lead you down the path of homosexuality. In other words, you need to starve that side of yourself which is displeasing to the Lord and feed the Christian side of yourself. Attend church and prayer meetings, have your daily morning and evening devotions with Him, spend time in the Bible and in prayer. Surround yourself with good Christian friends and influences. Choose to hang this homosexual thing on the “forbidden tree” as in the Garden of Eden. Consider it to be forbidden fruit, no matter how pleasing to the eye, to the touch, to the taste, to the smell; realize that it is forbidden by your Creator God who truly knows what is best for you and your life. Learn to not trust your feelings and emotions—they are rarely a trustworthy guide to what is best for you.
So in conclusion, to the “bisexual Christian” I would have to say, if you truly want to be a Christian, then let Christ truly be your Lord and Master. Enter into His school of discipleship. “Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 2:5). “Present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service” (Romans 12:1, emphasis added). As a Christian, be a disciple of Christ. Enter into His discipline. Trust Him, and obey Him. Your heavenly Father truly knows what is best for you, for your joy and happiness and fulfillment in this life, as well as in the life to come.
Q&A text taken from:
TESTIMONY
THE VALUE IN COMING TOGETHER
In 2000 I found out that my daughter was gay. My husband and I were serving in the mission field at that time and our daughter came for a visit. I can’t really explain it but I knew something had changed. Call it a mother’s intuition or maybe her behavior was just different. There had been signs over the past few years but I had been too scared to pay attention to them.
Now there was a pink elephant in the room but I was afraid to ask the question that I knew I couldn’t ignore anymore. I waited until we had a private moment alone and I asked the dreaded question. Even now I find it hard to say. I find it hard to put a “tag” on my child. A tag that defines her in a way I had never in a million years expected. “Are you gay?” I asked her.
When she answered “yes”, I felt my breath being sucked out of me. I wasn't prepared. My child who loved Jesus. She was an active baptized member. She had given Bible studies and even preached sermons when asked. She dated guys and did all the normal things a young girl does. Sure, she had moved away from our home and lived about 4 hours away with a female roommate. I thought that was normal. I saw her life moving in a different direction for the last few years but I never expected she would turn her back on Christ. She was always faithful to attend church when she was home.
The pain and the realization of our conversation flooded over me like a tsunami. All I could say was “I love you, I don’t agree but I love you. I will never agree but I love you.” We stood there and held each other. I cried but I felt she was relieved that I finally knew. After she left, I fell on the floor and wept. The next few months were a nightmare of emotions. Those few months turned into years. I kept asking the same questions over and over. Where did we go wrong as parents? What had I done wrong? I kept going over her childhood to see if there was anything that could explain her behavior. I was sure we had gone wrong as parents. I had no one to turn to but my husband.
Over the years the church didn’t offer any help. I had never seen any books on the subject nor had I ever heard a sermon on sexual sin. I was filled with shame. During this time I even backed away from church responsibilities. How could I hold an office? I was in dread that someone would find out. How could I explain? The first time I opened up was to a pastor’s wife. I was devastated.
She told me that she would have to think about letting her children come over to my house now. Needless to say that was the last time I talked about it to anyone.
I lived in pain and silence for 14 years. I continued to love my daughter. I didn’t treat her any different. I wanted her to experience unconditional love. I wasn’t able to pray very much, I didn’t have hope. I had hope in many other areas, but not this one. Every thing I read or heard was that she would not be able to change. Deep in my heart I knew God could do anything but I had no proof. I knew no one who had overcome homosexuality. The church was silent on this matter.
In 2014 we went to Camp Meeting for the weekend. I was in the book store and found a book by Pastor Ron Woolsey called “That Kind Can Never Change! Can They…?” I took that book back to my room and I was astonished. I couldn’t put it down. For the first time I was seeing a glimmer of hope. I was in tears. Here is a man who has come out of homosexuality! God changed his life! Could there be hope? The next day at Camp Meeting my good friend wanted me to meet someone. I had told my friend a little about about my daughter and my pain. She was so sweet. She would encourage me and pray for my family and my daughter. She took me to the big tent where all of the ministries had their displays. As I was standing there waiting for my friend to finish a conversation with someone, I noticed a booth called ‘Coming Out’ Ministries. I was studying the literature and it struck me what it was for. I was dumbfounded. I couldn’t believe my eyes. The church was finally addressing homosexuality. Just as I was having that revelation, my friend came over to me and said, “I would like you to meet Michael Carducci from ‘Coming Out’ Ministries.”
I stood there in shock.
I tried to tell him about my daughter and I couldn’t speak because the tears began to flow and they were choking my words. The floodgates had opened and I was crying so hard I couldn’t even talk. I had pent up my grief for 14 years. Eventually I ended up on the floor sobbing. For the first time in 14 years I had hope. For the first time in 14 years I had someone who would understand me. I will never forget Michael's kindness and compassion. He gave me the phone number of a prayer line. This prayer line would turn out to be one of the most important life lines in my life. That same night Pastor Ron Woolsey from ‘Coming Out’ Ministries gave a presentation. I was so filled with hope for the first time in years! It would take me almost a year though to have enough courage to call the prayer line. I was still filled with apprehension and failure.
I won’t ever forget the first time I called the ‘Coming Out’ Ministries prayer line. I was met with such love and understanding. My first call was about 7 years ago. It was the beginning of the most wonderful friendships. It’s very rare now that I miss calling in. I am no longer filled with dread. I have hope. Each week I claim the promises of God. I take him at his word now.
Philippians 1:6 “Being confident of this very thing, that He who hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.”
Hebrews 11:1 “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”
I am so grateful for this ministry. It has given me the hope I had been longing for. It has led to me Scripture and the promises of God. It has been 22 years now since my daughter told me she was gay. I have learned to love her just as Christ loves me. I have put her into the Lord’s hands. He loves her more then I do, if that is possible. He will leave no stone unturned until he brings her home. I realize she has the power of choice and that God will not force.
Thank you ‘Coming Out’ Ministries for leading me to the cross and filling me with hope. It is my prayer that every parent, every aunt, uncle, sister or brother has the same hope that I have. My God who spoke the worlds into existence and was raised from the dead can speak life into my daughters heart. Nothing is too hard for my God! He is the God of Reconciliation. He is calling our prodigal loved ones home. Jesus replied “Did I not tell you that if you believe you will see the glory of God?” Let us hold fast to His promises. Jesus will do exactly what He says He will do. His word can not lie. Amen and Hallelujah!
Please join us on ‘Coming Out’ Ministries prayer lines as we pray for our loved ones. There is great value in coming together. I invite you to come- be uplifted and encouraged! The Solution is in God’s Word!
Maranatha,
Debbie Norris
SPECIAL MESSAGE
Please consider making a donation to our ministry to help spread the message of God’s love and redemption! Kindly visit our website www.comingoutministries.org and select the Donate button, or you can send a check or money order directly to
‘Coming Out’ Ministries at PO Box 107, Tilly, AR 72679.
May God bless you for your support!